Julia Heubeck
Transformative Coach &
Gene Keys Guide
Poems from the Path of Love
This is a collection of poems written during and shortly after the Path of Love retreat. They reflect upon the themes which came up for me and remind me to be vulnerable and compassionate.
Embrace
Where infinity meets we meet too.
We came here through the simplest of agreements.
A contract signed outside of time and space.
This is not fate or will.
We anchor in a different place.
In stillness we surrender to our fusion.
A touch beyond the flesh and our grasp.
We have no need to meet again like in this moment.
This union has no future and no past.
And still I cannot help
but feel a sense of wonder,
about the wisdom that our meeting brings.
The Yin takes on another meaning.
A Yang once unbeknownst to Men.
It is your darkness which ignites my shining.
Polarity has never felt so whole.
The quiver I now feel inside of me.
A burning whisper of your soul.
The quiver turns into a ripple.
I sense the currents of a wave.
We are the movement of the ocean.
Entangled in divine embrace.
Mother
Mother. Where are you?
You were always my illusion.
Somewhere close,
but never close enough for touch.
How without love
did you create this pulsing heart?
As I walked my path,
your absence led the way.
I traveled blindly,
while knowing of the demons
hiding in the dark.
I could feel their eyes upon me.
Sniffing the air for traces of my love.
Starving beasts.
Let loose to cut me deep.
Waiting to feast upon my unspoiled flesh.
Who else but you could be my shield and my defender?
A sweet deceiving scent of innocence was lingering,
when words of rancid pasts
spilled from the void
where I so longed to find your heart.
In absence of your touch
I was deprived of my senses.
Your eyes were telling stories of disgust.
I remained static.
Frozen in confusion.
Not knowing
that to live or die
were two separate choices.
How could I love?
When seeking refuge in a desert of affection.
How could I see divinity
when all I could remember was the pain
of being birthed into a world of fear.
Mother, is forgiveness the answer?
Will you tell me?
Is your humanity deserving of my love?
As the seeds of truth
are being watered by my tears,
your lessons wither.
To love you once more...
My path is clear.
Shifting my longing from a state of fibrillation
to a beat in rhythm of my soul.
An echo of the universe.
Fea r
I have fought in countless battles
wrapped in armor made of fear.
Build with ingenious precision,
it never let a crack appear.
With a shield of tears for defense
and a horse of rage for pace
I often led the charge in fury,
letting confusion win the race.
Fear has let to little glory,
for countless battles I have lost.
My enemies refused to fight me,
indifferent to my army’s costs.
Today I have a sword of courage,
sanded by will, polished by grace.
I cut myself out of my armor.
I'm ready now to lead the brave.
Rebirth Of Innocence
I hear you speak of innocence.
How it takes flight like a flock of birds
frightened by the bloodied hounds.
The moment it escapes the children's eyes.
Crushed so they could live?
I listen to your dream of its return.
A vision of a world
which tolerates my longing.
Almost invisible, you plant a seed of
recognition.
A fertile memory
of having been a child once too.
Where did it go?
Has it been buried deep inside my soul?
You lead me to an empty space.
A room of possibilities, untenanted by answers.
Holding on to my commitment;
The wall of fear ahead of me
reshapes as opportunity.
The past knew of this moment.
Guiding my hands to lead the prayer.
The future in my finger’s tips.
My heart calibrated to their guidance.
As judgment starts to cloud my vision,
I pray for spontaneity.
Fusing with the wonders of my human shape,
I surrender to uncertainty.
A nascent energy replaces my sluggish form.
My steps, no longer mine.
And as abundance settles,
It takes the reins from guilt and shame.
What has been governing my path,
dies without fight or wrath.
The echo of your words
releases what is left of my control.
A last convulsion.
A rearing head of shame.
My body softens.
I hold you in my arms.
My precious reborn Love.
So innocent and pure,
you never even knew the fear
that kept you in my cave.
Next Step
Forever I've been needing
To do the next best thing
To fuel my greed
To stomp out fear
To feel that I am here
And then one winter morning
I did no longer know
The next step seemed impossible
I felt my worry grow
For I had just done everything
The world had asked of me
I waited and decided
That patience is the key
I felt relaxed
My mind switched off
My soul had time to breathe
It was so very simple
Needed no mastery
There is an inner wisdom
Which knows it all along
Attuning to what is inside
Will lead where I belong
Unknown Land
I am a landscape.
Well explored.
With paths well trodden.
I have conquered my snowy mountains.
Braved my stormy seas.
I bathed in my own sunlight.
Sheltered from the blizzards of my anger.
I traveled through my starry night skies.
Limped through my barren desserts.
My terrain is varied.
But familiar.
Right in the center of my world:
A Nothingness.
Protected by a wall as thick as ancient tree trunks.
Layers grown in rhythm with the seasons of my life.
A wall so high it stretches to the sun.
Could it be its architect?
Behind the wall:
An unknown climate.
My womanhood.
Hidden away before it could mature.
The sunny days I spend sitting
in the shadow of the wall.
Looking at its shallow cracks.
The moss grows where it meets the earth.
There is no door or gate. No code to crack.
No tunnel underneath or way to climb it.
It doesn’t seem to care if I am here or not.
And then one day I seek the coolness of my
forest.
The air is moist, it is a humid place.
I meet you sitting on a clearing.
You must have waited for a while.
You take my hand
In full acceptance.
We walk back to my barrier.
You take one look
And tell me that it can be done.
Hope turns into resolution.
I have no answers left
So choose to trust and take a step.
Each layer passed through me like a storm.
With gusts of anger and frustration.
An onslaught of my fellow travelers' fears.
And when I open my eyes,
I no longer need to see
What lies behind.
What I had tried to reach is now inside.
A place where we can meet
In Love.
Prayer to the Divine
I am Divine and fully human
Who else can birth what’s innocent.
Who else can roar just like a lion
Who else can squash it in its hand.
Who else can touch your soul with laughter
Who else can cry those tears of joy.
Who else can sing a song of silence
Who else can drown in tears of wrath.
Who else is timeless and fully present
Whose else's silence breaks a heart.
Who else can trust in their own madness
Who else can walk the path of love.
For I am fully fully human
And I am fully the Divine.
I am the prayer
And the compass is my heart.
